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Fiction & Satire

 

Three Strikes

In the grey light, the only noise was the hum of the console as it worked through the day’s roster. Elizabeth waited, stretched out on the mattress, not wanting to get up if there wasn’t a reason to. The console whirred, the low-level purr of a sleeping cat, for a few more beats, and then announced the outcome with a sharp bleat.

A notice flashed on the screen.

Boxed In 

It’s almost light when I wake her. Just nudge her a little with my nose. She murmurs something I can’t understand, her breath is sweet and stale. The ground is cold like stone before the sun hits. I ask if there is any food today. She reaches into the bag and pulls out some broken up rissoles. Then she rolls back over and tucks her head into the hood of her jacket.

I get the message.

I eat alone.

President Donald Trump's First International Women's Day: An Itinerary

It's President Donald Trump's very first International Women's Day as Commander-in-Chief and he's has a jam-packed schedule of woman-loving to get him through the day.

0600—Breakfast with Melania and Ivanka, with Tiffany on FaceTime. The President will go over his schedule for the day, and pick a woman-appropriate tie (red, but the pattern will bleed to show he understands the ladies).

Men: What to do About Your Ticking Biological Clock

When you woke up this morning, you could feel the world-weary ache of time passing in your bones, and you rolled over and listened to the tick, tick, tick of your alarm clock as you waited for your snooze time to be up. As the hands ticked over you internalised the insistent beat, taking it into your chest cavity, holding it close to your heart, filling the space in your ears.

You're not getting any younger, it whispered into your ageing ear canal.